I was sitting outside a cafe in Prague, sipping on a glass of Jameson.
Vanessa, from Brazil, points at my wrist and asks, “What does your tattoo say?”
“It says, ‘Who is John Galt.’”
“Who is John Galt?” She asks. It’s the natural follow up question, one which I’m used to getting.
I was with a group of people who all went to the same church. Most of my best friends are quite religious, my father is a pastor. I however am not extremely religious. I do enjoy the study of philosophy. My personal philosophy is based on several different schools of thought. I appreciate Ayn Rand and her work, and while I don’t agree with all of her conclusions I find her picture of the ideal man to be particularly inspiring.
“It’s a character from a book called ‘Atlas Shrugged.’ A person who works extremely hard, he’s a creator, and he refuses to violate his principles.” I tell her.
Across the table I hear my friend John ask another individual if he’s ever read ‘Atlas Shrugged.’
“I started it, but quickly realized it was humanistic BS and a waste of time.” The individual replied.
I’m used to people disagreeing with me. It’s a part of life that I find incredibly enjoyable actually. Debate is a form of conversation particularly rewarding to me. Even when people disagree with me vehemently, I find something valuable in listening to and trying to understand the opinions of others.
It amazes me though how some people, no matter their personal beliefs, are incredibly capable of alienating people around them. There are a few basic steps anyone can take that will instantly make their ideas more appealing to those around them. This is not an exhaustive list, just three important things. Please note that none of these rules apply to politicians.
Don’t be a Jerk (The Golden Rule)
Lets face it, all of your opinions are truth. Being right however is not an excuse to berate anyone who disagrees with you. It can be extremely tempting (and fulfilling) to call someone who doesn’t agree with you “blind”, “retarded”, or whatever your choice of insult. This will however result in the rest of the world labeling you as ignorant, and probably rightly so. How often do you listen to someone who insults you, gives you wedgies, or treats you like a child? That’s about how often others will listen to you if you demean them.
Be Genuine
When I was eighteen I began a journey away from a certain ideology. There were several reasons for this, some emotional, others intellectual. During this time there was one individual in particular who made an effort to talk with me about this on a consistent basis. I was perfectly willing to talk to this individual about the intellectual reasons for my changing opinion. He however wanted to discuss my emotional reasons. He may have really cared about me as a person, but all his attempts to get me to open up came across as incredibly fake. We hadn’t had a deep relationship before, but now that I was ‘jumping ship’ he wanted to be my best friend.
We’re more likely to listen to someone who seems genuine than someone who comes across as unauthentic. If you don’t seem sincere, you’re going to have trouble persuading others.
Be Honest
You won’t ever have all the answers. When you unsure of something, admit it, tell people you’ll research it, then do. If part of your opinion is distasteful to some people don’t try to sugar coat it. Lying, or even stating the truth in a misleading way will only hurt you when you’re found out (unless your name is John McCain.) There’s nothing more refreshing than someone who’s willing to be completely honest. You may not end up making a sale, but people will certainly be more inclined to give your ideas serious thought. If nothing else they’ll probably respect you for your candor.
“So why did you get that tattoo?” Vanessa queries.
“Well I agree with some of the ideas in the book. It’s like someone who gets a Bible verse as a tattoo.” I say this hoping the other person at the table will hear, and maybe think twice the next time they want to call some ones opinion ‘BS.’
Marshall has a serious case of wanderlust, and writes about his wanderings at the wonderfully entertaining LazyVoice.